Advice for a Groom

For some couples, the groom will have an “advice night” before the wedding. This is usually in addition to (or instead of) a bachelor party. It’s a time for friends and married men of the church gather and share advice with the groom before he becomes a husband.

Here’s some counsel gathered from several advice nights. The wedding planner All Things Are Ready also includes a letter to the groom, in addition to the bride’s devotionals.

• Since both of you are sinners, marriage requires a large amount of trust and grace. You will discover differences. Rejoice in them and be gracious.
• Look for opportunities to serve, and remember that the two of you together can accomplish a lot more together than you can separately.
• Make a point of noticing and commenting on what your new bride is doing to set up your new home. Let her know you appreciate her work.
• The root of most problems is communication. If you’re not talking, find out why. Be persistent!
• Men like to debate, to get down to the subject and put our gloves on. Women are different!  Be kind, patient and gentle as you discuss issues with her.
• Be humble and thankful for how God has blessed you. Do not be complacent about God’s  blessings or take them for granted.
• Try to out-do one another in serving — but be humble in accepting her service to you as well.
• Your wife will value time just talking with you.
• Don’t assume you know what she’s thinking — ask, find out.
• Call daily from work. Write notes for her.
• Pray with her and for her.
• Remember you might be wrong. Be the first to apologize.
• Make memories together in the time before you have children. Set traditions early.
• Read your Bible and pray together daily.
• Communication is definitely important. All the hype about it is true. To be active and not passive in your communication, you will have to adapt and find new ways to communicate.
• Keep learning together. Have a teachable spirit that looks for opportunities to grow.
• Enjoy the journey of marriage and even the strange things that God brings into your lives. God will see you through whatever trials might come.
• Learn to be happy yourself in the midst of making your wife happy. Working together as a team creates happiness and fulfillment.
• Start by assuming that you don’t understand what she’s thinking, and expect that there’s a high likelihood that you caused the problem.
• Be thankful for your godly heritage. Consider all the men around you. Don’t be afraid to ask for more advice after you’re married, when real questions come up. You have lots of godly people to imitate. Stay connected with your family and church.